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View Full Version : School Violence - Who's Head?


Melody
Feb 2nd 2007, 03:26 PM
Today I am playing a game of who's head is going to roll. My Son is 12, good student, gets along with pretty much everybody, laid back, not a 'goody goody' but one of those kids who is just easy going and everybody likes. He got punched in the eye today. He is not a mouthy kid, nor has he ever been in a fight. He's been taught that violence isn't the first step, but if someone is violent with him he's to fight back.

So today I get a call from the office saying some jerk was blocking the door and my kid was trying to leave. He asked him to move several times and he wouldn't, so he tried to go past him. He has to get home on time or his Mother has a fit U C;) . The kid punched him in the eye.

The Principal was too busy to call me, so the secretary did. She says they will deal with it first thing Monday morning. I say "No, we will deal with it NOW."

My ultimatum is simple - he's expelled and they guarantee my child's safety or I call the cops and whatever else I can do to make life miserable.

The parents will also be hearing from me. Apparently he has ADD or some such 'diagnosis'. I understand that there are legit cases but from volunteering at the school and with special needs kids, I've come to realize that at least half the time, its just a kid that was never controlled. Probably started out like that three year old that was booted off a flight because the little darling didn't want to put a seatbelt on - if ya can't control them when they're 3, what are you going to do when they're bigger than you?:rolleyes:

Anyways, whether its a bonified condition or not, if he can't be in the mainstream without being violent then he shouldn't be in the mainstream. I'm certainly not going to say "Oh you poor dear, would punching my kid again make it better for you?"

Heads are gonna roll, I just need my options. Its assault and its time that kids paid for that kind of behaviour one way or another. I have two nephews on the RCMP as is his Grandmother, along with a neighbour or two on the force, so I may just plan to scare the bejeebers out of him with a visit for starters.

I want a bully program reinforced before the month is out as well, so I"ll be tracking down resources for that.

Any other suggestions?

Punch him back you say? Oh he did that too - he's mine after all. :biggrin: I said in a parentally-lacking moment "Did you get a good one in?" to which he replied "I punched him back in the side of the head and felt my fist kinda sink in. I looked at my fist and thought 'WHOA, I'm stronger than I thought'" :laugh: He's been working with weights already so I suppose he is. The kid ran away after that.

Anyways, I'm more venting than anything, but if anyone has any similar experiences or suggestions I'd love to hear them. My first instinct is to escort him to and from school but of course, he'd die of embarassment.

Corbin
Feb 2nd 2007, 03:35 PM
lol can i go teach the bully a leason.. seriously :laugh:
man i didnt get punched in the face for the first time until i was 16 and got jumped by 5-8 guys lol, man i love the adreniline rush, they had like big bouncers that couldnt even get me on the ground lol im crazy... i dont know where im going with this, but you dont fix violence with violence take a look at gandhi lol

Fugu
Feb 2nd 2007, 03:39 PM
this stuff is exactly what happend to me in school.

It was almost allwase the oher kids fault and I got the short stick.Gettin stabbed and all that stuff.


good think you boy has a smart momma.I think you should "attack" the principal and the head office.No one should hate goin to school.Its a place to learn and have fun,and not some "battleground" where he just wants it to end.

Schools hate to lose money and they will do anything to prevent it.So just keep that in mind;)

blainep
Feb 2nd 2007, 07:03 PM
From my own experience with my son and watching the difficulties my brother has had with his sons school, the one thing I can tell you is - Keep on them.

School officials are more than happy to 'forget' about problems. If you don't become an enormous pain in their A$$, they will happily 'forget' about the problem !

Hope all goes as well as it can. Let us know how things turn out .

Melody
Feb 2nd 2007, 11:23 PM
Thanks for your comments everyone.

I found out that he has just started this violent behaviour this year. From the sounds of things he's another one of these kids who have been labelled 'socially challenged' from a young age, and then everything from there on in has been excused. He can do whatever he wants and they say its not really his fault, so he does. Violent kids with a problem that makes them violent, show it long before the age of 12.

The other incident was when he threw something at a teacher he was mad at. He's asking for someone to reign him in. I think he WANTS someone to reign him in. High School probably scares him too and that's where they're all headed in the Fall. However, he can't do it this way. The other kids in that school are younger than he is - what if he takes a fit and reaches for a weapon? Even a pencil can kill you if its stabbed through your eye.

So if for no other reason, I'll push it to protect the younger ones and the girls in his class. He tried it with his teacher and didn't get away with it. He tried it with a kid bigger than him and he got punched back. His next logical step is either to use a weapon or attack someone smaller that can't hurt him back.

I'll be there on Monday. I can't track down the kid's parents, but if I wait there I'll find them. Maybe I can convince them that these are his first steps to self-destruction if they don't do something drastic.

The kid has moved on to being rather proud of his shiner, and loved the old saying I gave him "You should see the other guy" lol. I am trying to balance it so he has confidence to fight back in the future, but still realizes that its never the first course of action.

He has an older friend that takes good care of him and has for years and I've always been worried that he'd come to rely on him too much. Now I know that he has what it takes if he needs it. He just shouldn't need it at the age of 12.:no:

Corbin
Feb 2nd 2007, 11:49 PM
That kids parents need to spank his @ss, good too, there aint nothing wrong with hitting your kid. (this is coming from a kid, that was spanked when i did bad things, man it thought me a lesson, my dad just had to wave that hand and man i would sure straighten up) :laugh:

Melody
Feb 3rd 2007, 12:12 AM
Well we all do parenting differently and different kids respond to different things differently. All I care about is that they do whatever it takes to help him and protect the other kids.

Corbin
Feb 3rd 2007, 12:22 AM
well just look at it this way.. did your parents spank you. well wether they did or not most of the gens before this one were fine.. but now we have all these crazy kids runing wild cuz the parents are afriad to spank there kids (for fair and just cause that is). you probley not expect this from a teen but, parents need to spank there kids again or some equal punishment, cuz these effing "time outs" dont to crap, but give the kid a short break to get his breath.

Fugu
Feb 3rd 2007, 12:12 PM
you soo crazy corbin:laugh:

I think it is that almost all of the actions these kids make dont have concequences.If I hit a kid back then he would either not get up or tell on me.I wanted the first one.If I where your son I would just lay low,and if the other kid wants to get smart just hit him:laugh:

Melody
Feb 3rd 2007, 12:45 PM
I'm going to take that as a joke ;)

Danzig
Feb 3rd 2007, 12:55 PM
press assault charges. the kid is abviously of age to know right from wrong.
if there is no severe punishment there will be no need for the bully to stop.
also as for retaliation on the part of the bully in the aftermath of it all, he is less likely to retaliate if he knows the police will be involved.

Melody
Feb 3rd 2007, 01:03 PM
My ultimatum to the school and the parents is exactly that - they take serious action or a lawyer/judge gets involved. I am comforted by the fact that he is smaller than my Son so unless a weapon is involved, I'm not worried so much about retaliation. He doesn't have much for friends and its a small school so we don't have the gang issues or anything. I do worry about what he'll do next to a younger child or a girl though. They're getting their male muscles at this age to a point where he could seriously hurt a girl or a child. My Son almost out-muscles me now and I'm not exactly a frail little flower when it comes to strength.

We arm-wrestle so I'm aware of his development :laugh: .

Fugu
Feb 3rd 2007, 04:10 PM
yeah just let this one slide.

boys will be boys

Corbin
Feb 3rd 2007, 04:38 PM
yeah just let this one slide.

boys will be boys

for real.

and remember spank your kid when theyve been bad.